Money Coaching Mondays Blog with Deborah Price

Planning for Our Journey’s End

January 11, 2012

Recently a close friend died rather suddenly. Her family was very unprepared as I believe, many of us are. So I’m going to discuss one of the most difficult subjects I’ve ever brought up. However, it may be one of the most important conversations we can ever have: preparing to die. I hope you will allow yourself this opportunity to consider these necessary steps for the sake of your well-being and as well as that of your loved ones.
None of us knows exactly how or when we will die, but we all know it will happen someday. I believe that we should try to approach death in the same manner that, hopefully, we approach life,  intentionally and with an effort to do as much good and as little harm as possible. When it comes to exiting gracefully, it is best to plan for and embrace our eventual death as consciously as possible.

Here are some steps to help you to become clear about how you’d like to live the last days of your life:

1. Begin by writing out how you would want to live the final days of your life. Where would you like to be? Who would you like to be with you? What ceremonies or rituals would you like performed? What services or celebrations would you like held in honor of your life? (Personally, I want the party before I go and then a great roast at my funeral. And it had better be good or I’ll be back!)

2. Create an “End of Life” Journal and write out your thoughts and feelings about your life’s journey thus far. Inside, you might also write a letter to each of your loved ones. Express whatever you need them to know so that you can both be complete when you’re gone.

3. Discuss your final wishes in detail with your spouse, trusted friend, or family members. Ask for their support in allowing you to leave in the manner of your choosing.

4. If you don’t already have it, possibly consider long-term care insurance which can make an enormous difference if you have a prolonged illness.

5. Appoint someone who is emotionally willing and capable to be in charge of your personal, medical and financial affairs. Create a file with all of your insurance, legal and financial documents and review it in advance with your appointed agent. Make sure this person is fully capable of handling the responsibility of caring for your medical needs and financial affairs.

6. In order for your wishes to be carried out, it is important that you complete a living will and a state approved medical directive. Prepare these legal forms well in advance to avoid a crisis later. Without this, your family or appointed agent will not have the legal right to make decisions on your behalf.

7. Share your desire to have your loved ones fully support your wishes and not interfere with your medical directives, even if they disagree.

8. Discuss what you’d like to have happen as your illness progresses. Ask your loved ones and family to be your advocate if you cannot communicate for yourself.

9. Discuss your end-of-life wishes with your doctor and health care providers in detail. Have them explain your end-of-life choices and options thoroughly. Make sure you discuss your pain management options with them and give them a copy of your medical directive. Physicians are not required to follow directives if they disagree with your wishes, so it’s best to have a candid discussion with them and ask them if they plan to honor your directives.

10. Look into hospice options in your area. Hospice workers are highly trained, end-of-life caregivers who are truly a gift to the dying and their loved ones during their final days.

11. You may want to request a loving prayer vigil to surround you in love and light during your transition. Death, like life, is a spiritual journey. Although we must all someday leave this earth, we must always remember that we wherever we go, we go with God. Know that as we leave this place and our human body, we are simply returning to the arms of the Beloved, and the ever-unfolding plan of our endless spiritual journey.

Peace and Blessings!